Note: For the purposes of this post, I’m defining a natural childbirth as one without the use of pain medications for labor and delivery. I’m not trying to deny the “naturalness” of ANY birth experience and would be the first to say that all instances of a child entering the earth constitute an amazing miracle.

Likewise, I recognize that the term “decision” implies that a mother, doctor, or anyone else has complete control over the birthing process which is also not true. I know many people who wanted and prepared for a drug- and intervention-free birth only to have medical issues take that choice out of their hands.

Having said all of that, I would like to introduce you to Sarah. She is the new mother of a beautiful baby girl, delivered in a natural childbirth, and is sharing her story with us:

1. When did you make the decision to try for natural childbirth, and what were the main factors in your decision? 
Actually it all started with a ginormous poop. Yes, gross but true. It was early on in my pregnancy and I decided right then and there that if a poop could hurt that bad, there was no way I could handle pushing a baby out! I was having an epidural!!

I related this story to my BFF Aleatha the next day, had a big belly laugh and thought I was done with my birth planning. Aleatha’s first baby was born three years ago (pitocin, back labor and no drugs!) and she was preggers with her second, due two weeks after me. She is a huge advocate for natural birth and I’d always thought she was a little loony because of it. She really wanted to have a home birth which made me move her over to the “alotta loony” category! I kept trying to convince her that it was unsafe and scary and “what if something happened?!?!?”.

In trying to find ways to scare her away from home birth, I found out it was actually not as unsafe or as scary as I thought. I also learned that many times the use of an epidural will actually give you a bigger chance for a cesarean! I found a lot of interesting info in books, online and, after I hired her, from my doula.

The more I researched and talked about different birth choices, the more I felt proud of my body. But every time I went to the doctor, I felt like a patient with something wrong with me instead of a mother doing the most natural thing in the world, cooking a cutie! I learned (something I guess I should have already known?) that my body is strong and my mind is even stronger. This knowledge made me a big fan of my body- not the jello-y part but the part that can make a baby and push out a baby (and feed a baby without even thinking about it, which I just did!). As a result of all of this, I switched to a midwife at 34 weeks and decided to have a water birth. 

2. What resources did you use in helping you make this decision (medical professionals, online research, books, friends, etc.)?
DOULA! DOULA! DOULA! and FRIENDS! FRIENDS! FRIENDS!

My doula, and I’m assuming ALL doulas, are amazing resources and coaches. The beauty of finding a doula is there are all kinds of women who provide the service. Whatever your beliefs or personal style, there is a doula that will be your perfect fit. My doula met with me 2 times before the delivery and again a week after delivery. She was there throughout my entire delivery and an hour afterwards to help with breastfeeding. She was also available to call or e-mail anytime I needed. Sometimes I would leave the doctor’s or midwife’s office with more questions than before. I would call my doula on my drive home and chat with her about my appointment and get some answers and meaning behind what they had said.  She kept me grounded in the knowledge that women have been giving birth for centuries and I just needed to trust my body to do what it was created to do.

Friends are amazing founts of experience. I have the honor of being one of the last of my friends to have a baby. They all started procreating about five years ago and man, do they have some stories! I listened to all of them and asked myself if I wanted that to be my story. If not, what would I do differently? If so, why and how could I make that happen? Even if they didn’t know it, my friends were helping me create my birth plan.

3. Did you do anything to prepare for a natural childbirth?
Talking with my doula helped me work through what I wanted and prepare myself for what was going to happen. She had tons of information on labor positions, stages of labor and what to expect, pain medication alternatives (TENS unit, water, etc…). Her website is DawnTheDoula.com. I also talked a lot with my BFF as we were in the same boat as far as MAJOR hormones, fears, anticipation, and all-around impatience to get those babies out! 

4. Who was supporting you during the actual birthing process?
My husband and my doula. My husband is wonderful, but definitely not a man of many words, or often any words for that matter. About an hour after Lily was born, he looked at me and said “Thank God for Dawn – we could not have done that without her.”

5. What parts of the natural birth process were as you expected they’d be?
I expected that labor would hurt and it did.

6. What parts were NOT as you expected?
That I could go backwards 1 centimeter after 3 hours of labor and then progress 5 centimeters in 40 minutes. I didn’t get a water birth but I did get a water labor (the 40 minutes above!). I went too fast to get into the birthing tub so I pushed her out regular style, in a bed. Next time I will have NO EXPECTATIONS!

7. Were others supportive or discouraging of your choice to avoid pain medications?
The ones that do the whole natural childbirth thing were supportive and the ones who don’t thought I was crazy.

8. Is there anything else you’d like to share with someone considering natural childbirth?
Do a ton of research and figure out what is the best thing for you ~ labor is your experience. Create your birth story the way you want it to be.  Don’t be pressured by others. Listen to advice and wisdom from others but weigh it against your beliefs and desires. But above all else, no matter how your baby comes out you still get a baby!!!

Thank you, Sarah! If you’re considering natural childbirth, here are some good resources from BabyCenter, Birthing Naturally, Have a Natural Childbirth and Giving Birth Naturally. If you’re interested in finding a doula, visit DONA International.

Did you have a natural childbirth? Please share your story in the comments section!

The old song is just made for newborn babies: “you outta’ be in pictures!”.

But thank goodness we live in the age of digital photography. There are so many precious moments that film would cost a small fortune! I suppose our kids will find envelopes of film negatives someday and wonder what they are…

The cute filmstrip look on this announcement takes the best of the “film” era and combines it with the best of the digital – namely that you were able to take hundreds of shots in order to capture the yawn, the smirk, the grimace, the grin. Show off your baby’s flair for the dramatic!

I love that these announcements have room for several different photos of your baby. That’s several different moods, poses or outfits that you can share with friends and family!

Someday his name may be up in lights and these birth announcements will sell for big bucks on eBay. Not that Grandma would ever part with hers…

Don’t forget to share this post with your friends who are expecting a little one, especially if they’re theater types! Check out the entire collection of magnetic and paper birth announcements at MagnetStreet Baby.

The other day Tate was wearing one of my stocking caps and decided it was fun to pull it over his eyes while riding his rocking horse. I snapped a photo because it was cute.

Little did I know that this would morph into his favorite new game.

With no disrespect intended to anyone with vision impairments, I call this new game “Blind Boy”. Here’s how you play: Mom puts the hat over Tate’s eyes. Tate gets upset if it’s not down far enough and makes necessary adjustments. Tate walks away from Mom with his arms outstretched, seeing what he can bump into.

I promise that Tate made up the “rules” to this game. All I do is put on the hat when he asks. Okay, I might have started asking if he wants to put on the hat because it cracks me up. But he loves it and doesn’t get upset about bumping into things. Don’t be fooled by the falsetto “mama” over and over again- that’s normal for him.

The next two clips are more of the same. Feel free to watch based upon how funny/messed up you think this is, or how much you need a Tate fix (Hi, Aunties & Uncles who live far away!).

What’s the funniest game your kids have come up with?

Most parenting literature advises against any television or computer viewing for children under the age of two. I know some parents who never have the TV on when their child is in the room, but we sure aren’t that disciplined. Tate saw some peripheral Food Network and Project Runway, not to mention that I was frequently emailing or online while nursing him.

Then right around the time that he turned one, a new study revealed that TV in moderation wasn’t so bad, and it also wasn’t so good (i.e. educational programs won’t boost your kid’s IQ).*

I jumped on the bandwagon (just as I did when they decided that peanut butter was okay again), and every so often when I’m wiped out, we plop down on the couch together to watch something on PBS or Nickolodeon.

Well, at least that’s what I would like to do. When I suggest watching TV, Tate gets excited and says “oooh, oooh, oooh” like a monkey, for Curious George. Other than the day he was completely lethargic from the stomach flu, Curious George & Sesame Street are the only shows that hold his attention. After a few minutes of Arthur, Kai Lan, Martha Speaks or anything else, he’s off running again.

So do you think George or Sesame are EVER on when I want some quality couch time? No, never! I’ve actually considered getting TiVo just so that I can have them at my beck and call.

But now, finally, I’m getting the point of my post…Tate and I were having a snack today and flipping through the Fisher Price catalog. I asked “Who’s that?”, thinking he’d notice the Ernie toy. He has an Ernie figurine and loves it. Instead he noticed the Elmo toy and said clear as a bell, “Elmo!”

What?! He’s seen Elmo on TV twice at the most in his life. We have no Elmo dolls, no Elmo books, no Elmo artwork in his nursery. And come to think of it, his ooh-oohs show that he tuned into that famous monkey about as readily.

That, my friends is marketing. They know, those children’s TV geniuses, what our children like. I’m not at all saying they’re evil geniuses, but they definitely know what they’re doing- how to connect with our children and how to make them fall in love. 

It makes me a little nervous, frankly.

What do you think about TV for your kids? Love it? It’s great in moderation? Hate it? No TV in your home? I’d love to hear how you’ve handled the issue with kids of all ages.

*PS – When I Googled the televsion study, it turns out that the focus was more on the “it’s not going to boost IQ” than on the “it won’t harm them” side. This post (with a few swear words, sorry Mom!) from DaddyTypes makes me think I bought into the Baby Einstein marketing this time. Maybe I need to look into that peanut butter thing again too…

Photos Courtesy:
jsmjr
creativedc

I know you’ve heard the phrases: mom hair, mom jeans, dress like a mom – none of them compliments. Sure there are fashionable moms out there, but plenty of us are giving the profession a bad name. Indeed, anyone who knows me would agree that I’m no fashion maven. Let’s be honest, if you’ve simply seen me on the street, you could probably guess this.

When I was working in an office every day, I made a little more effort. Here in stay-at-home-mom-land, though, my wardrobe generally consists of jeans and cotton shirts in a variety of colors- long-sleeve for colder weather, short-sleeve for warmer. Then occasionally I’m invited to something more fancy, something with adults, and I have a little bit of panic.

It’s not that I don’t like to look nice, fashion is just not something into which I’ve invested much time. The other part of my excuse, as long as I’m being honest, is my height. At 6’2″, I’m excited when I find clothes that fit well and if they happen to be stylish, that’s just a bonus.

Which makes me wonder – are a lot more of you out there with some sort of excuse? I’m too short, too fat, too skinny, too poor, this part is too small, that part is too big, etc. You’d like to improve your “look” but don’t have confidence that it can happen…

If you’re happy with the extent to which fashion influences your life, that’s fine. If you’re secretly waiting for Stacy and Clinton to visit from What Not To Wear, that’s fine too. But if you’re just looking to step it up a bit, here are some sites you might want to visit:

At How to Not Dress Like a Mom, Jae offers advice on everything from how to build a jeans wardrobe to what to wear at the beach. She recently linked to a great story about why fashion can be a positive influence in your life. That post by is by Daddy Likey, a fashion blogger about to publish her first book- check out her “super stylish sites” blog roll for tons more links.

Allison Worthington has a regular Fight the Frump feature on her Mrs. Fussypants blog. Or visit the Blissful Style section of Allison’s online magazine Blissfully Domestic. Big Mama has Fashion Fridays where she recently chimed  in on the “wearing white after Labor Day” debate.

If at the very least, you don’t want to embarrass your children with your lack of style, check out this funny post by teen Vanessa Van Petten. She creates five basic “mom fashion” categories (they’re not all bad!) and offers some do- and do-not-wear suggestions.

What are your favorite sources for fashion tips? Is fashion more or less important to you since becoming pregnant/a mom?

Photo Courtesy:
Svadilfari

What do you know about woot?

No, that’s not a typo or my latest attempt at Dr. Seussisness. Woot is a funny little website that sells one product at a great price each day: it goes online at midnight and if it hasn’t sold out, it’s pulled from the “shelf” at 11:59pm that same night. For instance, today’s product, a funky power strip, sold out around 6am.

In addition to the main woot site, there are woots for shirts and wine. They have really creative/sarcastic writers doing the product descriptions each day, usually good for a chuckle if not an outright belly laugh.

“But Kara,” you ask, “why are you talking about woot on your mommy blog?” Well, I’m glad you asked! It’s because a kids version of woot was released last month.

Today’s product is the Buildin’ to Learn Motor/Workshop for just $49.99. This same toy workbench is selling for $99.99 on the Little Tikes website, so it’s a fantastic deal. Other products have ranged from DVDs to electronic toys to car seats.

Put the kids woot blog in your blog reader if you don’t feel like checking the site at midnight every night. You’ll know if that day’s product is still available because the button will say “I want one” instead of “sold out”.

Happy Wooting!

P.S. I’m not getting any kickbacks from woot; I just think it’s a fun site!

Photo Courtesy:
Little Tikes website

Do you rotate the toys in your house? By rotating, I mean packing away a portion of the toys, then bringing them back out in a few weeks and packing others away. Rather than kids being overwhelmed by too many toys, they’re enjoying just a few and often getting “new” things to play with. Plus, fewer toys means less cleanup time!

I was reminded of the brilliance of this exercise when Tate’s friend Jack was over last week. Jack was enjoying Tate’s stash of toys, but as he pulled cars and balls out of bins, Tate was equally enthralled. These are things that haven’t interested him in months.

It reminded me of the slogan NBC used for their re-runs one summer, “If you haven’t seen it, it’s new to you!”.

That night after Jack left, I got the stored toys out and packed away others. Even I was excited to find some things I’d forgotten about. And of course Tate was thrilled to see “new” things the next morning.

My problem is that usually several months pass in between my rotations, during which time Tate has outgrown some of the toys. It always seems like too much of an effort to get the stored items out of the basement and pack others away (yes, I’m that lazy!).

That’s why I love this idea from Janna at The Adventure of Motherhood: She has 4 separate toy bags and rotates them every few days. It keeps her daughter engaged, or as Janna put it, “it feels like Christmas morning every morning!”. I think the quicker rotations would be easier for me to keep up with.

Do you have any good toy rotation strategies?

Photo Courtesy:
hsingy

Are you hosting a couples baby shower? I’ve never been to one, but if done right, it would be a fun way to include both parents in the preparations for baby’s arrival. Rather than just adding men to what is typically an event for ladies, though, take some extra consideration in your planning. 

Not to be stereotypical, but the cucumber sandwiches and mini quiches might not be so welcome with a co-ed crowd. Go for something a little more substantial (translation: meat!).

Likewise, I know at least my husband would groan and roll his eyes at the average baby shower game. You could either skip the games altogether, or check out these sites for ideas that might go over a little better with the guys:

My favorite at Creative Baby Shower Ideas is the Stroller Obstacle Course. How fun would that be?!

On a Yelp message board, I saw this fun idea from Kristin C: It’s a variation on the newlywed game, where the husband and wife have to guess each others answers to questions about their child. For instance, how many diaper changes will the baby need in a day? When is our child first allowed to date?

And no shower would be complete without an adorable invitation to draw in the guests. As with all of our products, you can customize the colors, font and text. Tip: mention all the MEAT you’re having at the shower. There’s also a folded-card version of this design and you can view all of the shower invitations online.

Have you already hosted or attended a couples baby shower? What worked? What didn’t?

This entry in the Pregnancy Decisions series is an interview with Michele, who I connected with on TwitterMoms. She’s the mother of twin boys, and also works full-time as an accountant. For any of you who are deciding whether to return to work after your baby is born, her story will be helpful.

1. What issues did you consider in deciding whether to return to work? 
Finances, my college investment (emotional, time, money, etc.), my sanity. My mom stayed at home and when I was getting ready to go back to work she gave me the greatest gift a mom could give…. She told me she sometimes regretted her decision to stay home and that she had a great job (before kids), and her kids grew up and moved on and she felt like she didn’t have anything of her own. She told me she thought I was making the right decision by going back to work. That was when I realized that whatever decision you make, to stay home or to go to work we all make sacrifices and the grass isn’t always greener. Do I sometimes regret going back to work, yes. But I also know that there was a good chance I would have had some regret if I had made the decision to stay home as well.
 
2. Did you make your decision before or after your child’s birth?
Before.
 
3. How long was your maternity leave, and was that set by you or by your employer?
12 weeks, yes it was set by my employer.
 
4. When did you make childcare arrangements, and what were your main considerations in choosing a provider?
I started calling around when I was pregnant, then happened to notice how much my mother made when she handed me her pay stub to write something down on. I told her I could pay her what I would pay daycare and it would be almost what she was making, if she wanted to babysit for me. After careful thought on both our parts (we didn’t want it to affect our relationship negatively if we didn’t agree on things), we decided to give it a try. It worked out wonderfully for both of us.
 
5. What have been the positive aspects of this decision for your family?
I have my work and family balance. My kids have a great bond with their grandmother. Also, my husband was laid off this year and since I have been promoted while working outside the home, our family hasn’t suffered any financial hardship due to his lay-off.
 
6. What are the challenges for a parent working outside of the home?
Trying to stay focused on work while wondering what your child is doing at home. Trying to keep up with the demands of both being a mom and an employee. Sometimes everything just doesn’t get done and it just has to wait until the next day.
 
7. What advice do you have for parents who have returned to work after the birth of a child?
Build a great support system, either family or daycare or community. Build a partnership with your spouse so he can step in at anytime with childcare or household responsibilities. Also, let go of the guilt as much as you can since guilt adds no value to your job as a mom or as an employee. If momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy. So stay positive and be happy with the decisions you make; your kids will pick up on this.  

8. How old are your children now?
Twin boys, age 5. They started kindergarten today and are happy, independent, loving, and well-behaved. I could not be happier with the decisions I’ve made and the boys are thriving.

Thank you so much, Michele! You’ve given us some great insight on returning to work after having children.

You may also want to consult The Working Woman’s Pregnancy Guide by Dr. Marjorie Greenfield. I haven’t read the book, but Dr. Greenfield was a guest on this very informative Pregtastic podcast about working during your pregnancy and returning to work post-baby.

If you went back to work outside of the home after your child’s birth, please share what you’ve learned. Any tips to smooth the path for new moms would be much appreciated!