Interesting title, huh?
More interesting because my husband actually uttered these words to our almost-two-year-old son yesterday.
Okay, a little background…it was around 5:30 pm. I was trying to make supper and talk to my husband, both of which make Tate frustrated because they’re not completely focused on him. The last hours before bedtime are usually tougher anyway, so of course he was whining and asking to be held.
But he doesn’t just say “up” like most kids do; he says “huggy, huggy”. I don’t remember when he came up with this, but probably tried it once and realized how effectively it tugs at Mommy’s heartstrings.
My husband is generally very patient with our son, but that particular time he cut him off, saying “Tate, you don’t need a hug right now!”. I swooped down to pick up the poor kid and laughingly asked, “Did you hear what you just said?!”.
Later on, though, after Tate was in bed, we had a good parenting discussion. His concern is basically that our son has become our puppeteer. We’re catering every moment to what he wants: play with toys, sing a song, eat a snack, be held.
Being home with him full-time, I’m more guilty of this because frankly it makes my life easier. I’m not saying that he’s eating candy and watching movies all day long. But on any given day, I don’t really care whether we read books or play with play-doh first, so I let him call the shots. Likewise, I’m sick of throwing away perfectly good food, so I list lunch options until he agrees with something and then that’s what I prepare.
Certainly I know that I’ll end up with a monster if I honor his every whim. I really do say no to him sometimes! But I also admit that I could create some stronger boundaries. For example, he’s old enough to respect his parents’ right to have a conversation without throwing a fit because he’s being “ignored.”
My husband also pointed out then whenever a second child comes along, the world will no longer revolve around our firstborn. Tate will have to make some adjustments then. I’m concerned enough about sibling rivalry though; it would be great to start adjusting his expectations beforehand.
Any suggestions for me? Do you just go with the flow on this or do you have specific areas where you make your kids toe the line just to maintain your authority? I’d especially like to hear from anyone with just one child, whether they’re still young or all grown up - how did you avoid a “the world revolves around me” mentality?
Photo Courtesy:
jenny8lee