Ah, the hospital bag. For me it was the first time I’d ever packed for someone besides myself, as well as my first time packing for a hospital stay. I ended up with everything I needed, but lots of things that never left the bag as well.

Since my actual labor time at the hospital was very short, I didn’t get to wear my cute outfit (yes, I had a laboring outfit planned, including shoes!). My husband ate the “laboring snacks” as we welcomed visitors to see the new baby.

But one of the frustrating things about pregnancy and parenting is the feeling that all the knowledge you’ve acquired may not be helpful in the future. Like once you learn to ride a bike or drive a stick shift car, you can transfer those skills to other bikes and cars. With pregnancies and babies, that’s not always the case  – every one is different!

There’s strength in numbers, though, so I asked friends who’ve recently had babies to share their bag-packing advice. Since there are lots of comprehensive lists out there, I asked for items that might be out of the ordinary. Could be what they wished they’d brought, or what was the most essential during their childbirth hospital stay. Thanks Cara, Mindi, Melissa, Sarah & Sarah!

• Extra pillows – for laboring comfort and for dad to sleep on. The hospital probably won’t provide these. Add an extra pillowcase to keep them clean in transit.
• Camera - don’t forget the chargers and a USB cord to download photos
• Journal or laptop, to record memories while they’re fresh
• Comfy pjs, socks and robe. You may want pjs in a dark color, in case of “leaks”. A hoodie is great for nursing access. Remember that you’ll likely have visitors, although you may or may not care what you look like.
• Headband or barrettes – whatever you use to keep your hair out of your face
• Nursing pillow (Boppy or Brest Friend) – save the plastic bag it came in, for transport to the hospital or any other time you’re travelling.
• An extra bag or box to carry gifts home – laundry baskets work great. You may also want to just bring one huge suitcase, so that you aren’t lugging multiple bags and boxes out to the car when you go home – allow extra room when you’re packing, for gifts.
• Snacks for dad, including beverages, so you’re not relying on vending machines.
• A preemie outfit for baby to wear home (from a mom of 8 pound boys, and I would agree, the newborn outfit was too big for my 8-pounder too). Bring a newborn size too, just in case – they don’t take up much room!

General packing tip: Keep a list of last-minute items to add right before you leave, if there are things that can’t be stuck in a bag for weeks beforehand.

General hospital tip: Double-check the hospital’s visitor policy beforehand. One family found out on the day of their c-section that their toddler couldn’t be at the hospital, and was scrambling for childcare. Rules have become more strict with fears of H1N1.

What were your hospital bag essentials? Or what did you bring that was totally unnecessary?

Photo Courtesy:
kona99

This post is inspired by a love story. My friend Whitney is 35+ weeks pregnant and getting to that “I’m ready to have this baby already” stage. Her thoughful husband didn’t get her flowers or chocolates, but something much more romantic, in my opinion. Click here to read the whole story.

The moral of the story is, of course, to be creative in helping your pregnant wife/girlfriend/sister/co-worker. Here are some other practical ideas for helping out a mom-to-be who’s in the final weeks of her pregnancy:

1. Bring over a meal, even if it’s just takeout from her favorite restaurant. It will allow her to relax at the end of the day (unless she isn’t the cook in the family anyway, then keep reading! ).

2.  If she has older kids, offer to take care of them for awhile. Don’t just make an vague offer- give her a list of several days or evenings that you’re free.

3. Offer to paint the nursery, so she’s not inhaling icky paint fumes. Better yet, use a VOC-free paint - better for everyone involved!

4. Offer to put together baby gear or furniture - not so easy when your belly is huge and your ankles swell when you stand up too long!

5. Hire a maid service for a one-time house cleaning, or help out yourself if she’ll allow you. Again, the more time she can be off her feet, the better!

6. Ask her how she’s feeling, and let her vent if she wants. Don’t offer solutions unless she asks for them.

7. Talk to her about non-baby/pregnancy/mom things - she might want a break from it all.

8. If she’s overdue, do NOT say things like “you’re still at work?!” or “you haven’t had that thing yet?”! It’s already on her mind, and everyone else is saying this- avoid the temptation!!

9. Take her out for a pedicure, or offer to paint her toenails for her. She may not be able to see her toes well, but it’s nice to have them look good and she definitely can’t do it herself anymore.

10. Tell her she looks great!

What was the nicest thing someone did for you when you were pregnant?

Photo Courtesy:

Ed Yourdon

For the first 17 or so months of Tate’s life, he wasn’t attached to any blankets, loveys, or security objects. Well, unless you count me.

My husband thought this was great; he doesn’t like the “neediness” aspect of a lovey. I rather wished there was something we could give Tate that would comfort him, especially when he was sleeping in a new place.

Now suddenly Tate’s crib contains 3 very important stuffed animals and 2 blankets.

If I look back, it didn’t exactly happen overnight. At some point, I tossed the blankets in there, hand-knit beauties that weren’t getting enough use. Tate started snuggling into them at bedtime.

Then he got really into a big stuffed dog that he’d never previously given the time of day. It became part of the crib decor but never left said crib, which made my husband feel better.

The first time we were spending the night away from home, I decided to pack a smaller puppy, hoping it could act as a stand-in for the big puppy. (Tate was only a few months old when this picture was taken, but you can see that this would fill half of an overnight bag!)

My ruse worked and Tate fell asleep happily in the Pack ‘N Play with the puppy substitute. But, you guessed it- when we returned home, he wanted both puppies in his crib.

Then a couple of weeks ago, he had the stomach flu and threw up in the middle of the night. By the time we got everything cleaned up, he was pretty wide awake and the dogs were certainly not going back into the crib in their condition. Luckily he spotted his harness/backpack monkey hanging in the closet, and I threw in a stuffed lamb for good measure.

And now Lambie must be in the crib for bedtime too. Lamby, Lamb-y, Lammie, how do you spell that so it doesn’t rhyme with Bambi? Regardless, I call it Lambie; Tate calls it Baa. He calls the puppies “huh, huh, huh” (the panting sound that a dog makes), which he learned from his cousin who has a dog.

For some reason Little Puppy is allowed to travel around the house and even to leave the house with Tate, but Big Puppy and Baa have to stay in the crib. I’m rather consistent in my parenting inconsistencies – I’m sure my 18-month old understands this logic!

At this point, I have mixed feelings about the loveys. It’s great that he’s so happy when they’re with him. One day, I even got to go to the bathroom by myself, because I convinced him to sit in the glider and read a book to Little Puppy. Unfortunately, when I returned to the nursery, I was not allowed in the chair with them.

It’s super cute that he’s thoughtful enough to offer his puppy water from his sippy cup. It’s not as cute when he shares milk from a non-sippy cup. Good thing puppy can go in the washing machine…

Does your child have a lovey/blanket/special toy? When did the attachment begin, and when did it end (if ever)? Were there rules about the lovey in your house?

You may remember the post I wrote last fall, wondering how to keep Tate’s head from flopping forward when he fell asleep in his car seat. There have been times when he’s awoken because his head keeps tossing back and forth, or is crying after a long sleep and it seems like his neck is sore. Therefore, I was really excited to hear about a new product designed to solve this problem.

Via TwitterMoms, I learned that Melrose Kids wanted some mom bloggers to review their new Head Snuggler. I jumped at the chance, and they sent me a free one to try out. 

The product is very simple: a soft cotton/spandex sheath that slides over the top of your child’s car seat. The lower edge slips over the child’s forehead, holding it in place when he falls asleep. No more floppy-head sleeping!

Here are a few things we learned in trying out the Head Snuggler, which would probably be different for every child/family. We discovered on our Chicago roadtrip that Tate had to be really asleep before pulling it over his forehead, or he would wake up - ten minutes seemed to be enough.

At Tate’s age (18 months), putting the Head Snuggler into place requires both hands- one to hold the sleeping child’s head up and one to pull the fabric down. On our road trip, I was the passenger and could reach back and pull it down. If I were driving alone with Tate, I would just put the car in park at a stop light or pull the car over.

I imagine that when Tate is older and realizes that this product helps him be more comfortable, neither of the above issues will apply. He’ll probably pull it down into place himself when he’s ready to sleep!

Finally, the fabric selection is pretty limited right now but their website says that additional options will be available soon.

I love this idea- a simple, safe way to keep my son’s head and neck properly aligned while he sleeps. The Head Snuggler is something we will continue to use and I definitely recommend it!

We made it, we survived! Our first airline flights with Tate were a success, defined as no meltdowns for child or parents!

Thank you for all the great advice you offered in the comments of my Travel Tips Needed post. Being that it was a shorter flight, we didn’t need a movie, although the laptop was ready to go. Opening presents was the biggest hit – there were books, Matchbox cars, a pair of sunglasses, stickers and animal crackers. On the return flight, he loved watching the videos from our trip on my digital camera.

My flight attendant friend, Sarah, suggested bringing a wide variety of snacks, which were also very popular. Our lovely Delta attendant gave me both peanuts and cookies, without my even asking. She also gave Tate a really cute “First Flight” certificate, signed by she and the captain.

I’m SO glad that we brought the stroller, as several of you advised. The long walk to our gate would have been reason enough, but he also fell asleep in it while we were waiting for our rental car. Well worth it, and a nice way to transport some carry-on luggage as well.

I bought an animal backpack/harness from Target, although I only used the leash part for about 5 minutes. It was still worthwhile as a distraction – he loved snuggling the monkey and making “ooh, ooh, ooh” sounds.

A few final tips: One that I learned from the Flying with Kids site is to ask the flight attendant which bathroom is best for changing diapers. Ours advised us not to use the one towards the front, as it was much smaller. Another, from my friend Sonya, is the site SeatGuru.com -simply select the airline and plane type (listed on your ticket confirmation) for a heads-up on which seats/rows are good or bad.

Our next travel adventure begins in a few days, as we’re off to Chicago for the BlogHer conference. What is normally a less-than-seven-hour drive will certainly be longer with Tate. Any roadtrip tips for me? Please?!

Continued from Pregnancy Decisions: Strollers

I spent about an hour at Babies ‘R Us while I was pregnant, test-driving strollers, opening and closing them, clicking car seats in and out. I liked the Chicco best; everything just seemed to work more smoothly. All of my friends that have Graco models have been very happy with theirs as well.

As much as I loved the travel system for the first 8 months or so, we equally love our BOB Revolution now. With the big wheels, it handles easily over snowy paths, through grass and trails when we’re walking the dog, or even over train tracks on regular walks. It folds compactly enough to fit into the trunk of my Dodge Neon.

The one downside is that the storage basket is much smaller than I had in the travel system stroller. We’re in walking distance of our grocery store and Target, and I used to stash a lot more into that under-seat basket. All jogging/all-terrain strollers that I studied had smaller baskets. I think a larger basket adds too much weight when full, throwing off the balance of the 3-wheeler.

Tip: The Revolution is 20% off at REI several times a year, so don’t pay full price for one!

A category of strollers that I haven’t addressed is the simple umbrella stroller. They’re lightweight, inexpensive and fold compactly, making them popular with many people for out-and-about trips. For me, they’re simply too short to push comfortably, unless you choose a more expensive model.

I really recommend spending some time trying out the various options. Consider, as much as possible, how you’ll be using your stroller. Read online reviews, looking for others in similar circumstances, to get feedback on the qualities that are most important to you. Some things to consider are:

• Will you be using your stroller mainly indoors or outdoors? If outdoors, will you always be on paved roads/sidewalks?
• Do you want to use the stroller for jogging or just walking?
• Do you need to quickly fold up your stroller, for getting into cabs or trains?
• Does your stroller fit into the trunk/back of your vehicle?
• Is the handle height adjustable? (This is important if you or your partner are tall, or especially if one is tall and one is short.)
• Does the seat recline fully for a sleeping baby?
• Is there adequate sun/rain protection for your baby?
• Do you like the available colors? (This was more important to me than it probably should have been. :))

Finally, if you’re shopping for a double stroller, check out the comments on this Q&A at Baby Cheapskate. There’s a lot of good input from parents that have put them to the test.

So, share your wisdom – which stroller(s) did you choose, and why? Were you happy with your choice?

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As soon as you find out that you’re pregnant, there are soooo many decisions to be made. Even the small things can seem huge. The well-being and happiness of you, your partner and your baby seem to hang in the balance.

Today begins a new series focusing on some of the decisions encountered in pregnancy – anything from selecting baby products to making birth plans. I’ll share why I made the decisions that I did, but more importantly I’ll raise questions to help you consider which choice is best for you and your family. Sometimes I’ll invite guest authors to share how and why they made certain decisions. Please let me know if there’s a topic that you would like to see covered!

I’m starting out with the item that was most challenging for me to purchase – our stroller. For me, part of what made this one so tough was not knowing what my life would be like at home full-time with a baby. Would I be walking around the mall, navigating icy sidewalks in the winter, or constantly in and out of the car running errands?

Further complicating my choice (in a good way!) was that my husband’s parents offered to purchase a stroller for us. I suspected that an all-terrain stroller would be the best choice for us long-term. But after talking to friends, I also really wanted a travel system for the newborn stage.

The advantage of the travel system (comprised of a base that stays latched into the car, a stroller, and a carseat that easily locks in and out of both), is that a sleeping baby doesn’t have to be unstrapped from his seat. Newborns sleep so much, and are especially likely to fall asleep with the motion of the car or stroller. With a simple click, you can transport your sleeping child into the house or wherever your destination may be. This was invaluable to me.

Just writing about those days makes me nostalgic, since Tate has now outgrown his infant seat. He’s never been one to stay sleeping if we try to transport him out of the car seat. So if he falls asleep in the car, I just sit out there with him and read. Instead of keeping my magazines on the coffee table, they’re in the car now.

So there’s my bias- I’ll do almost anything to keep my sleeping child asleep. If that’s not a big deal to you, you can save money on a convertible car seat that goes from infancy to booster-seat stage, and then get whatever stroller you want. Keep in mind that a seat will get pretty messy over 7-8 years, and having more than one might not be a bad thing.

That was mentioned on a podcast I just listened to at Pregtastic about car seat safety – did you know that washing car seat straps in the washing machine renders them useless in a crash? You can wipe them down if they get dirty, but complete submersion in water stretches the fibers too much. If you’ve washed yours, or if your car has been in a crash, you need to buy new straps and have them installed by a certified technician. The entire car seat podcast is definitely worth a listen.

But this post is about strollers, so back to my story…I compromised and bought a travel system on Craig’s List, then when Tate was a little older, our in-laws purchased the jogging/all-terrain stroller. This also allowed me to gain some knowledge about our new life with a baby. The used travel system was in great condition and less than half the price that it would have been when new. In retrospect, this may not have been the wisest choice, since I couldn’t be sure that the seat hadn’t been involved in a crash, but I trusted the mom who sold it to me.

Wow, this post is getting really long, so I’ll finish it up tomorrow – stay tuned!

Photo Courtesy:
skeddy in NYC

Here’s your Japanese lesson for the day: “tomodachi” (toe-moe-DAH-chee) means “friend”. Now use it in some sentences: If you missed my last post, Kyoko & Megumi (mother and daughter) are my tomodachis from a post-college year in Japan. Megumi’s son Riku is Tate’s new tomodachi.

Well, they’re friends as much as 14- and 15-month olds can be. At least the language barrier isn’t an issue, since they aren’t talking yet! Every day they warm up to each other a little more, and they’ll probably be best buds by the time Riku leaves next week. At this point, they generally play near each other, not with each other. Each is into his own thing, and they’re always on the move. You’ll notice that they’re sitting down in the pictures – it’s the only way we can keep them together long enough to capture a shot.

Here’s another example…Megumi & Kyoko brought Tate an adorable pair of squeaky shoes. Maybe I don’t get out enough, but I’d never seen anything like them. They squeak with every step he takes, which of course he finds very entertaining. Riku has his own pair, and we were trying to get a video of them both walking around. I have 3 versions of this, in which both were walking in opposite directions, quickly out of my camera’s viewfinder. Don’t blink or you’ll miss it, but I think you’ll get the idea of the shoes.

I wouldn’t put these on Tate if I was having a short-fuse day, but they’re definitely a good way to monitor his whereabouts! If you’re interested, I found an American company, Itzy Bitzy, that sells really cute squeaky shoes, and they support a good cause too. Check out the site for more info. 

Anyway, the boys are having fun and so are the adults. Today they survived the Mall of America, so tomorrow we’re going to try Babies ‘R Us!

Update from Baby Jet Lag: the last 2 nights have gone very well. Riku is awake pretty early, but sleeping mostly through the night. Limiting daytime naps has helped, I think.

Hopefully my last post gave some good reading (and listening!) material to the dads-to-be out there. But reading is not the only way to get prepared for fatherhood- there’s also shopping to be done! No, don’t click away quite yet… 

A mom-to-be gives the world visual evidence that she is expecting (once you’re past that awkward “is she pregnant or just a little fat?” stage- ugh!).

The fun part of that is the attention from anyone and everyone; the bad part is complete strangers offering you advice and touching your belly. If you’re a dad-to-be who wants a little of that attention, you might need to “wear it on your sleeve”. Bonus: you probably don’t need to worry about anyone trying to touch your belly.

The “Be Kind to Me” shirt is at MollyAnna. Check out a spoof of the mobster classic - GoodFather – at BellaBlu Maternity and the dad versions of [bump] wear too.

Now on to a more essential item…if Dad wants/needs his own diaper bag, there are some really unique options out there. Trust me, a diaper bag doesn’t need to look like an oversized purse!

How about a messenger-style bag featuring the logo of your favorite sports team? Or a backpack that looks rugged enough for your next camping trip? Check out DadGear bags at CSN Baby.

The single-strap DJ Diaper Bag from Fleurville is at BabyOliver.com in a variety of colors and even a khaki camo print. It’s shown above in “ballistic black” for that extra touch of masculinity. In addition to space for all the baby essentials, there are pockets for business cards, sunglasses and electronics, plus a carabiner to hold your keys.

If you’re not interested in carrying any type of bag, how about a Diaper Vest? I’m serious, this thing is super cool! It has special areas for bottles, diapers and even a changing pad. The wipes pocket can be accessed from both inside and outside the fleece vest. Genius! Visit Emmy & Ally for more details.

Okay, dads, that’s enough shopping for one day- go outside or watch some TV. Better yet, offer to give your pregnant wife a foot massage!

Photo Courtesy:
MollyAnna
CSN Baby
CSN Baby
BabyOliver.com
Emmy&Ally

Most pregnancy information is geared for women, and with good reason. We’re the ones who have all the weird physical and emotional changes going on, and are therefore the ones seeking answers. My husband was quite willing to let me do all the reading, and just give him the important highlights. No, that’s not quite true; he did read our Bradley method childbirth book. Good thing, since it’s also known as “husband-coached childbirth”!

I know, though, that there are some dads-to-be that want to know more about the baby’s development, the changes that their partner is going through and how to make the smoothest possible transition to parenthood. Here are some good online resources:

Most people know about the weekly emails from BabyCenter, with updates on your baby in utero, including size estimates in comparison to foods. I remember wondering, though, about some of the more obscure fruits and vegetables they referenced- a large jicama?! My friend’s husband actually said “what’s an avocado?” at Week 16.

Coming to our rescue are the husband and wife blogging team at His Boys Can Swim. They’ve designed a hilarious Dad’s Pregnancy Guide using objects like a hockey puck or the front wheel of a Big Wheel. Because none of their family or friends know about the blog, they’re able to be completely open and honest about their pregnancy experience. They seem to run a bit on the dramatic side of things, but overall, good info.

Another good blog is Almost a Dad. It includes categories like what not to say and cravings and snacks. Clearly, this guy has been there! I also like his prenatal checklist with things like extra batteries and a deep freeze/chest freezer to hold extra meals for after baby’s arrival.

PregTASTIC is a unique site that features podcasts on a wide variety of pregnancy-related topics. Check out Being Dad and From Dude to Dad - maybe during a workout or commute.

And last is not a dad-specific thing, but my husband thought it was the most helpful part of our prenatal class: the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD from Dr. Harvey Karp. His basic concept is that a newborn is used to the womb, and recreating that environment will keep the baby calmer and happier. No, this doesn’t involve pools of warm water, but swaddling, loud shushing (the womb is actually a noisy place), and a few other gems.

There were times when only nursing would make Tate happy, so my husband was unable to help. In other situations, though, he could use Dr. Karp’s 5-S’s to stop the tears and sadness. Dad was definitely the champion “shusher” in our house. There’s a book too, but we thought it was really helpful to actually see him perform the various techniques. Take some time during your pregnancy to learn these skills – you’ll be glad to have them when the baby arrives. This would be a great library check-out or Netflix option as well.

Stay tuned for Pregnancy Prep for Dad, Part 2…hint: it involves shopping!

Photo Courtesy:
amrufm
razzmatazlady
His Boys Can Swim
The Happiest Baby

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