2008 March | Truly Engaging Wedding Blog

Tossing Your Bouquet and Garter

March 28, 2008 | Categories

If your single friends are less than excited to be outed or you’re a little embarrassed about having your brand-new husband reveal your upper thigh in front of Great Grammy and everyone else, then maybe looking at alternatives to tossing your bouquet and garter are for you.

So many wedding traditions are rooted in superstition but thankfully have evolved into more accepted practices for our culture. For instance, the last I heard, there hasn’t been a single sighting of a guest tearing at a bride’s dress for good luck! As for the traditional bouquet and garter toss, I’ve been to weddings where the bouquet was tossed but the garter was not or both traditions were omitted. It’s your wedding, what you are comfortable with?

Fun Alternatives:

In lieu of tossing your bouquet to only your single guests~ include everyone in the fun with a “break away” bouquet~ designed to break apart into small bouquets… Or, you can present your bouquet to the longest married couple. Or, give it to an honorary guest like Great Grammy or dear Aunt Betsy. And, in lieu of your new husband removing your garter, why couldn’t he just carry a separate garter or any additional fun items and toss those?

Do you think guests look forward to wedding traditions like the bouquet and garter toss and are disappointed when couples decide to forgo them?

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Language of Love

March 26, 2008 | Categories

Romance in the Victorian era… glancing over your right shoulder you see your love. He’s staring at you. Time stands still before he moves toward you~ carrying a small bouquet.. (Yes, I made this up. I’m a sucker for romance and the idea of a flirtatious exchange of notes and flowers is so romantic).

For a variety of reasons, women made and wore small bouquets of flowers (called Tussie-mussies) during this era. One of the reasons had to do with love and romance. Each flower had a separate meaning that communicated the intentions of the deliverer. In time, posy holders or cone-shaped silver holders were invented to carry the flowers in.

Tussie-mussies and weddings

Looking for ways to embellish your garden, vintage or otherwise traditional wedding? Consider making fun and message-filled Tussie-mussies. Depending on your wedding style, they can be formal or informal.

(I made thisTussie-mussie with dried flowers from my garden and added some silk flowers too).

What’s in a Bouquet?

Flowers for these little bouquets may include: aromatic herbs, baby’s breath, wildflowers, ivy, silk flowers, etc. Lily of the Valley (top photo) is an early spring bloom that would be a great flower to use. The blooms are small and very fragrant.

How to make a Tussie-Mussie

Look to the library or the florist for the meanings of the flowers or herbs.
Center your smaller blooms and greenery on a central flower, like a rose.
Keep your small bouquet moist with dampened moss or paper towel then gather the end with floral tape, foil, rubber band, etc.
Place your small bouquet in a posy holder (optional)

A note tucked into the bouquet detailing the meanings of the flowers that you choose expressing your love and appreciation to your guests would be such a special keepsake!

Now what? Ideas for featuring your Tussie-mussies at your wedding

Boutonnieres for the guys
Hang them from the wedding or reception chairs
Place them as centerpieces on the reception tables
Place them in flower tubes at guest place settings
Include a note on special paper i.e. parchment type- for an antiquated look

Budgeting tip: DIY bouquets with flowers found in your garden or wildflowers. Shop garage sales for eclectic posy holders, vintage jars or vases. Use doilies instead of metal holders and hang by ribbons.

Source: The Master Gardeners, Tussie-mussies: “Talking Bouquets” by Sue Williams

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Interview with a Pastor

March 22, 2008 | Categories

It’s my pleasure to introduce our second guest to Truly Engaging~

Mary Anderson, Associate Care Pastor of the inner-city Woodland Hills Church (WHC) in Maplewood, MN where Greg Boyd is the Senior Pastor.

I just have to say… Mary is the prettiest pastor I’ve ever met. But in all sincerity, it is her uncanny ability to translate biblical perspective that truly impresses me. Honestly, I could have listened to her for hours. She is so down to earth and relatable.

Mary was the pastor presiding over this intimate, beach wedding of good friends. It was a unique and lovely ceremony and I was touched with how Mary crafted her message around her relationship with the couple and incorporated their hand-written vows. Let’s talk about Mary, but first…

According to wedding industry statistics, most weddings are held at church. In the Christian faith, the wedding ceremony is an act of worship to form a sacred institution, ordained by a holy God (likened to Christ and His bride~ the church). The marriage covenant from a Christian perspective is an irrevocable vow. (Matthew 19: 3-9)

Heidi: How do couples go about choosing the right pastor/officiate for their wedding?

Mary: It’s really about relationship. If there isn’t an existing relationship, pre-marital counseling offers the time for both the couple and the pastor to get to know one another.

Heidi: Is pre-marital counseling required?

Mary: At WHC it is. The reason we require pre-marital counseling, is to get couples to look at potential obstacles to healthy relationships that they might face after they’re married. Before marriage, couples only see and experience a fraction of what the other person is like. It is the responsibility of the pastor to help couples navigate and negotiate through these issues.

Heidi: In your experience, what has been the biggest hot-button issue?

Mary: The biggest issue I have seen has been an unequal spiritual footing between the couple. Spiritual issues always tend to influence other core issues, for example~ how they spend their money, parent their children, their commitment, etc.

Heidi: What has been your biggest challenge counseling couples?

Mary: In our inner-city church, 60% of the couples are already living together. Tackling this issue is a fine line to walk. The challenge lies in being sensitive to our culture, especially when there are children involved. To the couples, I advocate abstaining from physical intimacy until the wedding. The reason~ to give them time to be in relationship with God and to honor Him before the marriage covenant is made.

Heidi: How do people react to your being a woman pastor?

Mary: Most people accept that I am a woman pastor but there are some who would prefer a male.

Heidi: How flexible should a pastor be?

Mary: Often times, there isn’t a wedding planner and it is left to us to pull it all together~ from counseling to adhering to the wedding style, to organizing the rehearsal and ceremony, to the paperwork. Because of this, the pastor has to be fairly flexible.

Heidi: What is the definition of marriage and how do you see your responsibility as a pastor?

Mary: To enter into a lifelong covenant with an imperfect human and navigate through our own imperfections along with this person. God intended for marriage to be a safe place. Praying together, serving together and moving forward together…That is where the blessing is.

Heidi: Thank you Mary! It has been a pleasure!! If you have questions for Mary, email manderson@whchurch.org

Happy Easter!

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ahhh…Springtime

March 18, 2008 | Categories

We woke up to snow this morning and while conceding to its beauty, I am ready for Easter and springtime… Spring is about color, new growth, opportunities and certainly weddings. Congratulations if you’re newly engaged and beginning to plan for your wedding. Where to start…Some brides believe that a themed-wedding is easiest and least expensive to plan because so many elements of it can be coordinated. If the idea of a theme wedding (1920′s, Medieval, etc.) sounds like it might be right up your alley, the following suggestions will help you get started.

1. Make an inspiration board of all things related to your theme i.e. colors, textures, table settings, lighting, food…

2. Coordinate your stationery beginning with your Save the Date all the way through to your table Favor and Thank You Card.

3. If you want your guests to partake in the theme, inform them by way of your Save the Date, wedding website or word of mouth.
4. Have a back up plan if your ceremony or reception is being held outdoors. Is there shelter nearby in the event of rain…?

5. Review your venues for safety and accessibility i.e. special needs, bathroom availability. (If it’s held in a park, is it safe for children to roam?)
6. Ask your vendors for ideas in their areas of expertise. They are very resourceful.

7. Incorporate a theme song during the processional and recessional.

8. Meal style and menu choices could be based on theme.

9. Incorporate fun, theme-based accessories for the groomsmen to wear i.e. cummerbunds, ties.

10. Suit your decorations to the theme.

What kind of theme weddings have you been to? Our designer Lindsay, had an Americana theme wedding. Lots of fun!

Stemming Flowers, Save the Date: A-11680

Photos: top left, right: Distinctive Images by Jason

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