Asking for Cash Gifts

May 6, 2010 | Categories Resources

ugh.

uncomfortable isn’t it? …a breach of traditional etiquette.

As uncomfortable as this idea may be, it’s a growing trend. Blame the economy. Blame the fact that more couples are paying for their own wedding. Blame…

And, while it’s true that most guests bring gifts, do we have the right to assume this of them?

On the other hand… while asking for cash instead of gifts may ruffle many a feather… there is a lot to be said for an honest straight-forward approach. This is especially true, if this is what family and friends might expect.

We recently had a request for wording for this type scenario! The bride had heard there was a “proper” way to ask for money in lieu of gifts. Hmmm. Asking for money will always be awkward. Will your guests wonder…”how much is enough?”

If you’re going to ask for cash, I wouldn’t mention it on the invitation; but, perhaps as a separate item sent with the rest of your invitation stationery.

Let me know what you think of these wording options

  1. Because we are saving for {             } we would appreciate cash donations in lieu of gifts. Thank you very much!
  2. We ask only of your love and presence but if a present is your desire, we would be honored with a cash gift to help us save for our new home! Much love and thanks!
  3. We require only your presence but if you were thinking of giving a gift, we would greatly appreciate a gift of cash to help us save for {            } Thank you kindly!
  4. If you were thinking of giving a gift, we would appreciate a gift of cash to help us save for our new home.
  5. In lieu of gifts, we would greatly appreciate cash donations to help us save {for our new home}.

What do you think about asking for cash in lieu of gifts?

NO WAY!

or

Yeah Way!


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  • Nalie

    It didn’t feel right to out right as for money, but the way you have presented it makes it less tacky and acceptable in my opinion. It’s the truth and said properly.

    For Hmong weddings people are assuming you need money to start your life together anyways, so we don’t do registries and most people bring money. Well money and pillows and blankets :-)

  • Rosanna

    I don’t think it’s very classy to ask (for gifts or for money!). If I were you I wouldn’t ask. I would just wait for guests to ask about the registry and then explain you would prefer cash.

  • Pam

    This is so foreign to me to ask for cash right up front. I do see many reasons for it like the couple each have an established household or they live together so they already have the items. Still, it seems weird.

  • Lindsay

    If you have to ask for cash, stating that it would be for something (like a home) would make me more comfortable. Otherwise I’d reduce the amount I was thinking of giving. However, as a guest I would rather bring SOMETHING for you to “remember me by” cash doesn’t do this at all. Even if its a frying pan, you could think of me when you made eggs in the morning. With all the registries out there, why would you have to ask for cash anyway?

  • Allison

    I think lots of couples nowadays would prefer cash to traditional wedding gifts however I think couples need to be aware that there are still rules to etiquette. I have lived with my fiance for 6 years now and we have a house full of appliances already. I really don’t need anything but a down-payment for a house. But I know many of our guests are very traditional and I do not want to offend them with a bid for cash. I think you need to know your audience and gauge their reaction before you can make the decision, but generally my opinion is to go the traditional route and register – you can always return for something at a later date.

  • Jan

    I have lived in my own home for 7 years, and my fiance is moving in with me. There are certain things we don’t need, but I am excited to registe and get new things. I could not afford to but expensive quality items myself, and I am using the registry as an opportunity to replace old items, and allow my fiance to have new things to use too. Many people give cash at the wedding, but I feel like to ask for cash at a shower is rude. And there will be old fashioned people who still show up with a toaster or blender or picture frame you don’t need or want. At least a registry directs people to what you DO want. If you have a small registry, you will get gift cards or cash too.