I just have to say… Mary is the prettiest pastor I’ve ever met. But in all sincerity, it is her uncanny ability to translate biblical perspective that truly impresses me. Honestly, I could have listened to her for hours. She is so down to earth and relatable.

Mary was the pastor presiding over this intimate, beach wedding of good friends. It was a unique and lovely ceremony and I was touched with how Mary crafted her message around her relationship with the couple and incorporated their hand-written vows.  Let’s talk about Mary, but first…

According to wedding industry statistics, most weddings are held at church. In the Christian faith, the wedding ceremony is an act of worship to form a sacred institution, ordained by a holy God (likened to Christ and His bride~ the church). The marriage covenant from a Christian perspective is an irrevocable vow. (Matthew 19: 3-9)

Heidi: How do couples go about choosing the right pastor/officiate for their wedding?

Mary: It’s really about relationship. If there isn’t an existing relationship, pre-marital counseling offers the time for both the couple and the pastor to get to know one another.

Mary: At WHC it is. The reason we require pre-marital counseling, is to get couples to look at potential obstacles to healthy relationships that they might face after they’re married.  Before marriage, couples only see and experience a fraction of what the other person is like. It is the responsibility of the pastor to help couples navigate and negotiate through these issues.

Mary: The biggest issue I have seen has been an unequal spiritual footing between the couple.  Spiritual issues always tend to influence other core issues,  for example~ how they spend their money, parent their children, their commitment, etc.

Mary: In our inner-city church, 60% of the couples are already living together. Tackling this issue is a fine line to walk. The challenge lies in being sensitive to our culture, especially when there are children involved. To the couples, I advocate abstaining from physical intimacy until the wedding. The reason~ to give them time to be in relationship with God and to honor Him before the marriage covenant is made.

Mary: Most people accept that I am a woman pastor but there are some who would prefer a male.

Mary: Often times, there isn’t a wedding planner and it is left to us to pull it all together~ from counseling to adhering to the wedding style, to organizing the rehearsal and ceremony, to the paperwork.  Because of this, the pastor has to be fairly flexible.

Mary: To enter into a lifelong covenant with an imperfect human and navigate through our own imperfections along with this person. God intended for marriage to be a safe place.  Praying together, serving together and moving forward together…That is where the blessing is.