Grooms & Wedding Planning: 6 Tips

Jul 28 2011

Sarah, from Here Comes the Blog {a savvy wedding advice blog} is guest posting today with great tips on getting your groom involved in wedding planning—in ways that are comfortable and natural for him. Here is Sarah to explain …

What Should a Groom Do to Help Plan the Wedding?

groom responsibilities

Ask 10 brides how involved they want their fiancé to be in planning the wedding and you’ll get 10 different answers. Some brides want their beloved to comment on everything from the color of the napkins to the band’s playlist. Other brides just want their honey to leave all the details to them. These are the brides who will say, “just show up.”

There are no hard and fast rules about how much or how little a groom should do. Today’s economy is making it harder for some couples to ask their parents to foot the bill, so they are both working overtime to pay for the wedding themselves. In these cases, most grooms want to be involved in where the money goes. If it’s the bride’s family paying, often the groom feels awkward stepping in with a definite opinion that might veto one of his soon-to-be, mother-in-law’s choices.

For the groom who wants to help and the bride who wishes he would …

Here are 6 tips to get the other half of the couple involved in planning and executing the big day.

The groomsmen are the groom’s responsibility
He’s responsible for tracking down his friend who he backpacked through Europe with 10 years ago as well as his younger brother who never answers his phone. He gets to choose who he wants as his Best Man and groomsmen. There aren’t even any rules anymore that the number of bridesmaids has to match the number of groomsmen. Traditionally, the groomsmen are there to escort the single bridesmaids for the event. But that’s not the case anymore. Sometimes there’s just a Maid of Honor and four groomsmen. Sometimes the Best Man is a woman friend. There are no rules except to let the groom select his half of the party.

Let the groom have a say in his attire
If you don’t trust him to pick out something that matches, go with him and see what he likes. Make suggestions without dictating which one he has to go with. As long as he likes what he’s wearing and it is formal-wear, it’s fine.

Put the groom in charge of his side of the family
He should be involved when making seating arrangements for his side. You probably won’t know who should be seated together as you may not have met many of his relatives. Let him handle, along with his mother and father, where he thinks his side should sit.

Ditto on dealings with his mom. If you know her well and get along famously with her, all the better. But let your groom run interference between you and his mom (and your mom). He may be able to smooth out any ruffled feathers where you might not. You don’t need to hear every detail of how his mother feels slighted that your mother is wearing blue when she wanted to. You don’t have to get involved in details that you would be happier left out of. With that being said, make every effort to be kind, personable, and friendly to his side of the family—especially dear old mom.

The groom can handle the booking of limos
Put him in charge of finding the lowest rate and then let him take care of the details. As long as a car shows up to drive you to the church, you’ll be happy with whatever he picks.

Don’t make your future hubby sit for hours and tie bows onto your favors or choose between 12 shades of off-white for your roses. Unless you have the type of groom who wants to be involved in every single detail, let him handle the bigger picture items. He would be great at organizing a golf game for the day before the wedding for all the out-of-towners or talking to the videographer about what you want captured.

True, each man is an individual and only you know how much your fiancé can and will comfortably accomplish. But a good rule of thumb is to involve him in details he’s good at and interested in—and that will keep everyone happy.

Thanks Sarah! Great info and helpful wedding planning tips to keep the peace and keep things moving!

 This guest post by Here Comes the Blog, a great resource for brides when they are planning their wedding. Find useful tips, advice and inspiration for your wedding at


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7 thoughts on “Grooms & Wedding Planning: 6 Tips

  1. Pingback: Here Comes the Groom | LDS Bride Blog

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